I am in all things sadness
A consuming fire that devastates
The marks I leave the thin strips
where matchsticks have become flame
There is no tempering the growing heat
No cleansing the scarring tissue
I burn, too hot, too quickly
And then I’m gone
Leaving only the charred memory of pain
Of hurt, of things turned to ash
If you try to hold them
they disintegrate into nothing
I leave no pieces, nothing untouched
by my reckless burning
I am inferno
I am in all things sadness
We are sitting up on this falling hill,
Slowly crawling down this black expanse.
Below we can see stars littering the ground.
We are minutes from self-destruction, reckless combustion.
Breathing in fumes of promise and escape
Hoping the fallout was worth the crash and burn.
Heartache nothing more than a stain on dark canvas,
With crystal clear intentions shattered.
Whispering goodbye in a howl of guts and twisted metal.
And grey carpet hits our feet like gravity
Endlessly fighting for the inch ahead into the shining light
Of infinity and immortality.
We’re as lonely as the silence we’ve created.
Those broken eyes
Sad, lonely light to live with
Candle wicks now fading
Heart stolen with the evening wind
A broken plate rests on the dark walnut floors
Shattered pieces, disconnected memories
An empty seat, impression in the cushion of something that should have lasted longer than a spark.
A dangerous silence
Calloused hands wrap around empty promises
Cold food that would have been
Could have been a beginning mid-book
Tabletop filled with nothingness, desolate with tattered chords of maybes, then with a hollow aching goodbye. Longer than the slow motion swaying of a walk to and out the door.
The click the only sound left, deafening
Deafening…deafening…deafening
He once promised her moonlight to dance under; with those thick, heavy blues that she found herself falling into. Even though he could only produce the blinding light of electricity, she felt that maybe they were dancing all alone in the silence of space.
He once promised her love notes to live on; with that soft, supple smile that she found she wanted to taste. Even though he only ever sent email reminders of their plans, she felt each word was whispering “I love you.”
He once promised her eternity in his arms; with those strong hands wrapped round her waist like they were one. Even though they keep getting older, and their time is finite, she knows he really meant it.
She is the world untethered
Fists closed around broken stone
Silence the wind, the tears
She is the tattered dreams
Left rotting in the bulging snow
Cold hatred, the burning
She is the unspoken words
Ripped from beating chests
Blood thick, the fading warmth
She is past cruelty, onward life
No returning to the fetid corpse
Bloated with regret, the hurt
She is gone from all remembering
Blown out with the pale light of dawn
Lights flickered goodbye, the sacrifice
P.S. Sorry for the looooooong wait. Been a little busy with a little baby 😀
This poem is a reject from Poetry Magazine, as are the three that will follow.
You wrap yourself up, cushion tight
To protect yourself from the pinpricks and the barbs
But when one of them breaks through
You can’t stem the flow of the ever growing wound
It’s not too easy to look past the pain
It sticks to your heart even when it has healed
– Tegan Thuss
We are silence unbound
by our own anger.
We live with fear
etched on our broken ribs.
Echoes of our happiness
trim the windows filled with dust.
The scars we leave have
become the trophies on our shelves.
Rain clouds gather constantly
to hide the sting of tears.
We bear it slowly with our smiles
as false as the promises littered on the floor.
– Tegan Thuss
The world will forget we existed
and we will lie together silently soaking in our sins
burning from the pain of our broken skin.
– Tegan Thuss
Baba Yaga hid her hatred in my heart
Pinned it in, sewed it shut
I can feel it moving, squirming
It’s eating me like she would eat children
All cooked up, hungry as sin
I am completely lost, but her wisdom
Sucks me down into the marshes
With mermaids at my heels
And kelpies slurping up my marrow
All drowned, murky with pain
These woods are way too deep
But the thought of finding truth
Of holding my own fate in my hands
Tempted me into the darkness
All direction gone, hope done
I look at my aged hands and wonder
Was I always here, was this always me
And the steam rises and the laughter erupts
Folk tales and nightmares
You cannot escape
“And your front to me”…
– Tegan Thuss
When I love you
I love you long
Deep
Hard
I love you to the bone
Cut crisp open
Exposed
Naked
I love you whole heart
Broken wings caged
Scared
Lost
I love you down dirty
Pulled full apart
Shadows
Sadness
When I love you
I love you all
Whole
Full
– Tegan Thuss
P.S. Sorry for the delay, and being passed when I was supposed to be officially done. I am working on catching up and hope to have all 365 poems up by the end of July. Ending my year long poetry run…and then, maybe I will try something new.
One Mama's Poetry 