April 14 – Promises Returned

He once promised her moonlight to dance under; with those thick, heavy blues that she found herself falling into. Even though he could only produce the blinding light of electricity, she felt that maybe they were dancing all alone in the silence of space.

He once promised her love notes to live on; with that soft, supple smile that she found she wanted to taste. Even though he only ever sent email reminders of their plans, she felt each word was whispering “I love you.”

He once promised her eternity in his arms; with those strong hands wrapped round her waist like they were one. Even though they keep getting older, and their time is finite, she knows he really meant it.

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April 6 – A Recording of Two Lives

Side A: We Weren’t Meant to Burn

I always knew the fizzle was a sign of things to come.
You knew sparks were made of fingers on legs
But you never knew that my legs never conducted much electricity.
I spasm sometimes when I’m thinking of life
And you called that love, cause I could feel you moving.
If only it weren’t so wrong, if only I could feel the earth shake when you rocked.
We weren’t meant to learn love songs, only rough notes and guarded words.

I hate bugs, you collect scabs
We lived inside ourselves
Windows foggy, steamed up
I couldn’t see your insides
I was sure there was some tar in there
I knew there was some soot in me

As the sun was setting I thought about endings, you kept whispering about beginnings.
I felt bad, because I knew that happiness was not about your hand in mine,
It was more about feeling lost in motion, in moving forward, in future discovery.
You always thought I had moonlight in my hair and stars in my eyes,
Sometimes I laughed at night thinking of how naïve you were, how young.
Really I just didn’t know the meaning of being with another person, of grabbing
On to something and pulling and pushing and never breaking, always mending.
I liked looking at glass shattering, you should have known then that I would
Break that heart of yours.

I had no tears for you
Only a goodbye that left you silent
When I walked away
I thought you must have been a doll
And I was the puppet master
Cutting the strings
But I felt free, and you felt alone
Guess that’s what never again
Feels like.

Side B: You and I Are the Cosmos Racing

Shooting stars, I never knew they could burn your eyes with truth
Until I looked up while holding your hand, and felt the tailwinds on my face.
Life felt bigger and smaller all at once, with your arms around my stomach.
I heard the song on the wind, the whistle in the breeze, and I knew how love felt.

You held rainbows softly, letting the colours drips through your fingers
And into my hair. I laughed because it tickled.
Every time you said goodbye, I felt my heart float up like a balloon tied to your wrist
Following you everywhere you went without me.
You promised nothing, but I knew with you everything was for me and it always would be,
No doubts or lies, no secrets spilling behind shut lips.
We kissed and my smile stretched against the sun, warm against your lips
I’m content just to live and love with you forever.

I remember times when I was freedom, wings on back and shades drawn
No one knew the inside of my soul.
Now I’m open book, fairytale story, and you are an avid reader
Fingertips tracing the words of my being.

I’m never flippant or scared or trying not to be hurt, I am flowing thoughts
I break out of unknown into knowing you and knowing who I will be
Knowing I am myself, I am you, I am world, we are one.
I am living every day for myself, for you, and for this little seed we have blessed to grow.

– Tegan Thuss

April 4 – Bound by the Lightning

I remember that hot summer night, long ago, but not too long to forget we weren’t young anymore. The world went dark, the electricity shut off. But inside we were creating our own sparks, our hands formed lightning on skin that felt too hot but not hot enough. We were burning in the darkness, for each other and for love. When we kissed there were flashes and when I shut my eyes I swore I could see your smile etched in sunshine on the back of my eyelids. Your laughter sounded like static happiness, like the flipping of a switch to permanent ‘on’. I felt everything you had like a mixture of blending and cooking, we were melting from summer nights spent learning curves no road would ever find. There was no relief, no cool breeze, just hot breath and warm motion, and knowing that this was the moment that marked forever for us. This was the moment when we knew we would be connected together, a little line drawn from my heart to yours. And no matter how hard you knotted it, how many times the scissors might snip, it would be stronger than glue, hold faster than stone.

I remember that hot summer night, long ago, but not too long to forget we were still young. The world went dark, the electricity shut off. But inside we were creating a lightning strike that would spark the world to move just a little faster with us.

– Tegan Thuss

April 3 – Turn Tape Over to Side B

We sit in cold silence, as I watch the world float away and by. I trace memories with my mind, and hollow futures with my heart. I hurt when nothing touches me, but burn when the world gets too close. Slowly I move my hand, a flick of the wrist, thoughtless, careless, a scared motion of an injured animal looking for comfort. I edge it closer to yours, take hold in the darkness of my soul, and feel the warmth of your presence cascade through my icy veins. You tighten the grip, smile your bright smile, and I forgot what it is to be alone, what it is to feel used up and neglected. I feel like I am the only shining object in a black-out world, and you are coming to me, to my sparkle, with a matching glow. We were made in caves, moulded in rock, built from solid, unmoving earth into a single entity. One being, split in the middle, later seared back together by the formation of time and trust. We are the ocean cascading together, waves of laughter rolling onto shores of forever. The emptiness I have been feeling fades with the setting sun, and you and me, we’re just starting.

– Tegan Thuss

March 11 – Making Ordinary Fairytales

Take me away from here
Away from this unbearable sadness
This feeling of worthlessness
And unease
Take me somewhere that the sun shines
Beautiful upon your freckled skin
With your smile wide and your worries gone

Take me away from here
Away from the cloudy grey skies
And the tears trailing like rain drops
Over haunted cheeks
Take me somewhere the sea always laps
At the ankles of our feet
Running with us, hand in hand, heart in heart

Take me away from here
Away from the crushing of dreams
The loss of innocence
And youth
Take me somewhere the wind smells like hope
Flowers bloom with a sigh
And we dance with a lightness that makes us feel like flying

Take me away from here
Lift me onto your imaginary white horse
Gallop away into the fading sunset
With a kiss on our lips
A story on our shoulders
Until we melt away and become legend
With our fingers intertwined around forever

– Tegan Thuss

March 8 – Silent Fisherman Feels a Tug on the Line

If I could write a thousand words
This page would be filled
With sonnets and dramatic prose
All expressing a love
So binding it takes the breath
Out of the lungs
And replaces it with the infinite
Number of stars and black space
Bursting in the Universe

But my mouth and hands are hollow
Yearning to leave traces
On the paper of your touch
Your lips, their smile, their kiss
No paper knows the justice
Of romance and devotion
Cannot express emotion
Without falling flat
Without changing it to something less

So I keep the thoughts I hold
The memories we share
The moments I have stolen
With your heart
Locked up in my soul
Trapped in my eyes
Dripping through my veins
Leaking through my pores
Only to be caught by you

– Tegan Thuss

March 6 – When Summer Comes

Everything is grape crush, candy canes and frosted pink sunshine
I love your pastel smile, those painted lips
We lie under the pillow clouds as they drift, ship on sea, sheep in air
Your eyes a startled blue, magnetic charge
We spring up, tall as wild flowers, water seeping through our toes
I love your tingle fingers, magic makers
We’re twisted roots, entwined together, stretching up into the sky
Your heart beats raindrops, summer bloom

We’re hopeless moments, etched into bark, love surrounding
I love you eternal, you love me infinity

– Tegan Thuss

March 2 – unfinished

We touch in secret with our hands
A silent prayer
Love spilling from my palm to yours
While other’s whisper hate

Our smiles glowing with a hidden knowledge
Of how hearts grow
The simplest magic being the corner of a smile
Lips slowly parting

– Tegan Thuss

P.S. Sorry for the long delay, I will be trying to catch up within the next few days. 

February 22 – A Confession to the Dying

You’ve always been that little voice
Coaxing me through life and love
You’ve always been that shining smile
Holding my heart in the palm of your hands
Like I was tender, cherished beyond anything

You’ve always shown me happiness
With the sparkle of your eye
You’ve always fixed my broken parts
Gluing the fragile fragments back together
Like I wasn’t damaged, destroyed

You’ve always been the better part of me
No regrets or guilt at all
You’ve always shown me what it is to live
My heart racing to catch up to yours
Like I could do anything, be anything

You’ve always known how to read the stars
Dreams and memories colliding into galaxies
You’ve always made the world grow
With the sharp wit of your voice
Like it knew you were worth moving for

You’ve always been my light in darkness
Letting me fight the shadows
You’ve always been the fairy dust
Helping me to fly into my hopes
Like my tears were a river, floating you onward

You’ve always been my compass
And I will find you again, when it’s time to rest my weary soul

– Tegan Thuss