April 9 – Turn Your Back to the Forest

Baba Yaga hid her hatred in my heart
Pinned it in, sewed it shut
I can feel it moving, squirming
It’s eating me like she would eat children
All cooked up, hungry as sin

I am completely lost, but her wisdom
Sucks me down into the marshes
With mermaids at my heels
And kelpies slurping up my marrow
All drowned, murky with pain

These woods are way too deep
But the thought of finding truth
Of holding my own fate in my hands
Tempted me into the darkness
All direction gone, hope done

I look at my aged hands and wonder
Was I always here, was this always me
And the steam rises and the laughter erupts
Folk tales and nightmares
You cannot escape

“And your front to me”…

– Tegan Thuss


February 13 – When I Grow Young

When we were young
The world was a stage on fire
And we could never run fast enough
Or think hard enough
To catch all the stars falling
So we would burn with the touch of the ones we could reach

When we got older
The world was a river flowing
And we could never fight the current
Or break the surface
To see another path to take
So we would touch the waters of where we knew we were going

When we grew up
The world was a forest
And we could never see past the trees
Or up through the canopy
To another place, another time
So we followed the route that we knew so well, that would take us home

When we couldn’t stop growing
The world was a dungeon
And we could never break the bars
Or hope to be un-caged
To go where we wanted
So we sang songs to remind us of when we were free

When we got to the end
The world was a burden
And we could never lift the weight from our backs
Or escape the pressure of our lives
To go where the wind would fly
So we lifted our shoulders higher and remembered the load was parts of our souls

When we were young
The world was a stage on fire
And we could never smile wide enough
Or laugh long enough
To see that in the end
We would never have to catch the falling stars, because we would become them

– Tegan Thuss

October 18 – Crow’s Feet and Devotion

I fear the grip of age
As it settles its clawing feet around the corners of my eyes
And draws crevices where no flaws used to be
I dread the day my smile will shine with a white I never knew before
All foreign and alien and not me at all
I hate to think that my mind will shatter, fragment itself
Lose the moments, the memories, the words it has lived in
Learned by, dreamed with, held in hands which will curl in pain
I stretch out my arms to a lover who will age with me
We will greet each year together, thinking at least we are here
While we watch everyone around us get younger
Our skin will stretch, our bodies will morph
We will not recognize ourselves anymore
We will look in a mirror together and forget youth
I fear the grip of age
I crumble under the weight of getting old
And I know the only grace I have
Is the silent hand holding mine so tight
Which will stay there, until he or I fade into a darkness
That neither of us can follow, until we know the world will let us go

– Tegan Thuss