November 30 – Dawn Falls on Shoulders, Cold

The cold cuts to the bone as she readjusts her jacket
Trying to cling to warmth even as the snow drifts into her boots
Ice threatens to tear her down, strip her of the ground she walks on
As she grudges every step she takes from the comfort of home

Dark currents tug at her sleeves, morning light not yet yawning
Gloves feel crisp in the December wind, even with the fur lining
She can see her breath surround her, edge up into the sky
Looking for the sun to melt it into oblivion, while she shivers

Absent happiness claws at her mind as she remembers blankets
That only minutes before were wrapped pleasantly around her
Moments shift and one second becomes another instantly
Without thought to how perfectly humble her inside world is

Her scarf waves in the wind at no one, she is alone in this tundra
Red hat the only visible sign that people live in the white clouds
As the city sleeps and she journeys past tumbled buildings
To work, to the edge of forever, steps into hollowness

She crumbles as the doors close

– Tegan Thuss 


November – Journeys Never Really End

You spin me through worlds with the sound of your voice
I could spend days lying in the warmth of your smile
And the beat of your heart keeps a steady pace to my pulse

We are built for each other, my hinges to your open doors
With all the time we have to grow into an apple tree
Whose fallen fruit tricks one into thinking knowledge is for suckers

When fairytales are over and endings are happy, we keep on rolling
Down twisted roads and uneven paths, where treads have never touched
And we know wisdom left us long ago, but adventure lives on our backs

Tattoo maps compel us forward, even when they wrinkle with age
Cause we don’t know how to stop when we hold on to hands
That pull forever onward to another unseen destination

Romeo and Juliet died for love, we’re just dying not to stop feeling this
Even if we fall apart, hit the earth, crumble down unholy
I’ll still have a solid grip on you and a kiss in my back pocket for you to find.

– Tegan Thuss 

November 28 – Plain Truths

I will dig a trench in your dimples
Cause I know that’s where your candied goodness sits

I will sew our hands together
Cause I know that’s where you hide your happiness

I will twist open your soul
Cause I know that’s where your lightness shines

I will look forever in your eyes
Cause I know that’s where my heart lies

– Tegan Thuss 

November 27 – Orbiting

“You have the clearest eyes.”

The way he said it made her pause, she smiled at him. “What does that mean?”

“I can see the world in them.”

She thought, what a line, and was about to keep walking when he touched his hand softly to her cheek. A warmth spread through her that left her knees shaking and her heart humming. “How?”

“I don’t know, but there it is. Spinning so slightly, like it’s waiting for something to shake it to life.”

She giggled slightly, she wasn’t one of those girls who fell for this, who thought this was charming; but something in those dark blues staring at her made her feel her soul was exposed. She could feel her memories playing for him in her mind like an old movie. Maybe he could see them turning, over and over. She was small, her family was happy, she grew up and she learned things, she went to school, she loved, but never the right person, and she kept herself locked behind a very thick door. But something kept shining inside that maybe he could grab with just the right words. With just the right sentence he could pull it out, place it in the lock and open something she hadn’t even known she had hidden away.

He let his hand rest on her cheek, his thumb running slightly up her jaw. She stopped breathing, she couldn’t feel anything but that motion as it swept into her bloodstream direct to her pulsing heart.

“And who is going to do that?” She asked timidly, a little more afraid than she ever was before.

“Who do you want to?” he whispered, and she fell into the ground, her whole body melting at his feet. She was whole, but she felt completely naked and empty. She smiled at him, he returned it and let his hand drop from her face. She took it with her own, and his smile grew around the edges of his face like he was bursting to be free.

“Who do you think?” she replied cockily, and together they walked down the street through the falling snow.

– Tegan Thuss 

November 26 – Holiday Sized Happiness

Sparkle glitter shine
Embrace the winter time
When love and warmth
Rest in airy breath

Chocolate filled mugs
Cider filled jugs
Snow that falls in time
With songs and rhymes

Lights that glow
Smiles that grow
Cheer that spreads
Where happiness treads

Tree with presents underneath
Door hung with a wreath
Candy canes to sooth the tongue
Skating just to have some fun

Families gather together
In the harshest of weather
To embrace within the dark
Where love will build the brightest spark

– Tegan Thuss 

November 24 – She Craves, He Complies

She was five sentences away from happy
When the world shifted and the words dropped

She could hear them coming, washing over her slowly
When the tide turned and the waves crashed down

She had hoped they would cleanse and bathe her
Instead she feels mud thick, soul dredged through muck

She feels tears fall like pinpricks on her open wound
And her heart is shriveling inside her empty shell

She wants to hide her shame, live inside her head
Where no one would know the torment she feels lashing her

He smiles, so sure of himself
Not knowing the power that his claws have
The strength they exert as they rip and tear at her

She smiles back, so lost
But she won’t let him see the hurt
The daggers sinking in to flesh

She releases her light
It flashes for a second and fades
She feels naked in the darkness his careless whispers have created

– Tegan Thuss

November 23 – Calypso Beat Ready

In the wreckage she’ll find peace
Under rubble she’ll know freedom
Cause when the world came tumbling down
All her walls went crumbling with it

In the darkness she’ll she light
In the dirt she’ll find beauty
Cause when the world blew apart
It took all the scared bits of her with it

In the emptiness she’ll feel whole
She’ll let go of her faults, her shortcomings
Step up to forever with her head held high
And defeat whatever demons think they can outsmart her

– Tegan Thuss

November 22 – Fairydust Settles, Tink Laughs

If she could paint herself in every colour
Her palette would be empty
If she could wrap herself in every cloth
Her hangers would be lonely
If she could drape herself in all her jewels
Her being would sparkle beyond perfection

She finds no beauty in her face
While others trace her simple smile
As though a canvas was where it belonged
While others see the shine in her eyes
And think Photoshop wishes it could make this
While others feel her skin
And think that smoothness was a word created for her

She plans her trips around her moods
And plans her moods around adventures she hopes to take
She skips around as though the world
Were pushing her feet this way and that
And she can feel the grass when she slips out of her shoes
Which she does so often she wonders why she bothers with them anyway

She finds no wonder in her body
While others map a future in her skin
Wrinkles being lovely drips that have made her even better
While others touch her hair
And wonder if cotton ever knew how to be so soft
While others hold her hand
Knowing that to let go would be to lose themselves

She skips stones on ponds
Just to stop the stillness on a cool morning
She wants noise and bustle
As much as she wants quiet and serenity
She places her hopes in bottles
Which she stands on windowsills where they will catch the most light

She has no notion of her heart
While others find it comforting
Warm to the touch, fiery when enraged
Blistering when in motion of kiss and love
Electric when smiling and bursting with laughter
While others feel the magic she sprinkles behind her
And scoop it up, to make sure they can fly too
With just enough happy thoughts

– Tegan Thuss

November 21 – If You and I Are Made of…

Smooth as cocoa skin
Brushed gold with happiness
And love shines like moonlight on kisses in the dark

White alabaster feel
Around dimples built to burn
With a fire that consumes every heart it touches

They mingle in scents and colours
Mixing into one beautiful puzzle that fits just so
And the halo rings in their eyes say we’ve been saved

Perfect midnight light
Filters through windows onto sheets pure white
Onto hands entwined where love beats electric

– Tegan Thuss