April 14 – Promises Returned

He once promised her moonlight to dance under; with those thick, heavy blues that she found herself falling into. Even though he could only produce the blinding light of electricity, she felt that maybe they were dancing all alone in the silence of space.

He once promised her love notes to live on; with that soft, supple smile that she found she wanted to taste. Even though he only ever sent email reminders of their plans, she felt each word was whispering “I love you.”

He once promised her eternity in his arms; with those strong hands wrapped round her waist like they were one. Even though they keep getting older, and their time is finite, she knows he really meant it.

April 12 – Discussing Broken Objects

You wrap yourself up, cushion tight
To protect yourself from the pinpricks and the barbs
But when one of them breaks through
You can’t stem the flow of the ever growing wound
It’s not too easy to look past the pain
It sticks to your heart even when it has healed

– Tegan Thuss

April 11 – We Fall Down

We are silence unbound
            by our own anger.
We live with fear
            etched on our broken ribs.
Echoes of our happiness
            trim the windows filled with dust.
The scars we leave have
            become the trophies on our shelves.
Rain clouds gather constantly
            to hide the sting of tears.
We bear it slowly with our smiles
            as false as the promises littered on the floor.

– Tegan Thuss

April 6 – A Recording of Two Lives

Side A: We Weren’t Meant to Burn

I always knew the fizzle was a sign of things to come.
You knew sparks were made of fingers on legs
But you never knew that my legs never conducted much electricity.
I spasm sometimes when I’m thinking of life
And you called that love, cause I could feel you moving.
If only it weren’t so wrong, if only I could feel the earth shake when you rocked.
We weren’t meant to learn love songs, only rough notes and guarded words.

I hate bugs, you collect scabs
We lived inside ourselves
Windows foggy, steamed up
I couldn’t see your insides
I was sure there was some tar in there
I knew there was some soot in me

As the sun was setting I thought about endings, you kept whispering about beginnings.
I felt bad, because I knew that happiness was not about your hand in mine,
It was more about feeling lost in motion, in moving forward, in future discovery.
You always thought I had moonlight in my hair and stars in my eyes,
Sometimes I laughed at night thinking of how naïve you were, how young.
Really I just didn’t know the meaning of being with another person, of grabbing
On to something and pulling and pushing and never breaking, always mending.
I liked looking at glass shattering, you should have known then that I would
Break that heart of yours.

I had no tears for you
Only a goodbye that left you silent
When I walked away
I thought you must have been a doll
And I was the puppet master
Cutting the strings
But I felt free, and you felt alone
Guess that’s what never again
Feels like.

Side B: You and I Are the Cosmos Racing

Shooting stars, I never knew they could burn your eyes with truth
Until I looked up while holding your hand, and felt the tailwinds on my face.
Life felt bigger and smaller all at once, with your arms around my stomach.
I heard the song on the wind, the whistle in the breeze, and I knew how love felt.

You held rainbows softly, letting the colours drips through your fingers
And into my hair. I laughed because it tickled.
Every time you said goodbye, I felt my heart float up like a balloon tied to your wrist
Following you everywhere you went without me.
You promised nothing, but I knew with you everything was for me and it always would be,
No doubts or lies, no secrets spilling behind shut lips.
We kissed and my smile stretched against the sun, warm against your lips
I’m content just to live and love with you forever.

I remember times when I was freedom, wings on back and shades drawn
No one knew the inside of my soul.
Now I’m open book, fairytale story, and you are an avid reader
Fingertips tracing the words of my being.

I’m never flippant or scared or trying not to be hurt, I am flowing thoughts
I break out of unknown into knowing you and knowing who I will be
Knowing I am myself, I am you, I am world, we are one.
I am living every day for myself, for you, and for this little seed we have blessed to grow.

– Tegan Thuss

March 23 – When Life Hands You Lemons

How many days until these moments flood our minds with smiles, laughter, tears and pain?

How many days until we come to see that my hands fit perfectly into the crook of your neck?

How many days until we realize love has glued the inside of my soul to the outside of your heart?

– Tegan Thuss 

March 21 – Muse

Let me float down to your world
Lie glistening over your head
You’ll feel the cool breeze of my smile
The tingle of my hand smoothing those stray locks
My heart will be the thunder
My soul will shine the sun
An invisible light burning through your faded eyes
You’ve been waiting for me
Waiting for a change of fate
I will be the essence on the shoulder of your words
Play a song with me inside
Whisper words I’ve lent your tongue
We will curl our shadows around the Earth, echoes of

Remember us

– Tegan Thuss

March 20 – Little/Big Dreams

Every time you reach for the moon
I reach for the stars
So it will be a little harder, a little farther
More work, more effort
But when I get there, when I hold them
I’ll know it was worth it
All that time and energy, all those breaths
Your dreams were big
But mine were larger than the Universe

– Tegan Thuss

March 19 – Echoes Released

And when I die
Will you thank me for the rain you cried
The years of solitude
While having someone near

The pigeon hole we formed
That kept us from the world
A dungeon we could return to
Without our hearts in tact

The whispered words
To hard to hear
Over the callous anger
To loud to bear

We were ourselves
We weren’t how we wanted
Torn and shredded cause we meant it
Everything was real and fake

In the end there won’t be tears
There won’t be goodbyes
No hand holding or skin touching
Just an echo of a breath now gone

– Tegan Thuss