January 13 – Tempting Fate

I could save you
Maybe
If you let me
But you’re so sure
And I’m so far
Away

So you’ll keep falling
Hard
While my hand keeps
Reaching
Clasping air tight
To my chest

I’ll be crying
Here alone
While you are dying
Somewhere
Far Away
Gone

– Tegan Thuss

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January 6 – Begging for Change

The market was deserted; she walked hand in hand with darkness. Perfect place for nothing, for no one. All empty stalls and empty hope. She placed her heart on her sleeve, better for the world to find her. She sat amid the broken shambles, the dishevelled bushes, the cracked benches. She was a sliver in the cog-works, a figment in the mind, a ghost in reality. Her head bowed, her tears heavy, her silence deafening. If anyone walked by they would find her limbs, like trees, flayed and twisted, sad. They would see her face scarred from age, torn from sorrow, destroyed by hate. She holds one hand out, a memory, a reaction; waiting for something to drop and her world to start again. She cannot offer music, she cannot offer solace, she can only beg for redemption, for salvation, for recognition. She crumbles to the ground, a puddle extracting the filth from the pavement below. She can smell regret clinging to her, life rotting in her, death inches from her face breathing harsh on her cheeks. She can feel her humanity dripping with the rainwater, her emotions ebbing with the waters flow, she can feel herself hardening like the stone at her feet, behind her back, under her head. She feels the cool crisp air blanket her, as sleep nudges at her hollow eyes, dreams and wishes long vanished.

A lone woman lies in a box in a deserted market, breath coming out in fog, ghost image of someone she used to be. Her cloths are torn, ratty, and her body looks small like a child. The world keeps revolving, even as she is fading into night.

– Tegan Thuss 

November 23 – Calypso Beat Ready

In the wreckage she’ll find peace
Under rubble she’ll know freedom
Cause when the world came tumbling down
All her walls went crumbling with it

In the darkness she’ll she light
In the dirt she’ll find beauty
Cause when the world blew apart
It took all the scared bits of her with it

In the emptiness she’ll feel whole
She’ll let go of her faults, her shortcomings
Step up to forever with her head held high
And defeat whatever demons think they can outsmart her

– Tegan Thuss

November 19 – World on Fire

How do you suffer through the world
When its raining down destruction on you?
And you glitter gold
When its all chemical burns and swollen limbs.
Your gun is locked and loaded
Shooting off mission bells and sanity
While the rest of us suffer drought and plague.
But you have happiness to burst around
Much better than the sadness left in the human gutter.
We’re already dead
But you have risen from the ashes of despair.
No angel wings or halos
Just decisions, ideals, and choices made correctly. 
You don’t need heaven
You just don’t need the rest of it.

– Tegan Thuss 

October 8 – Home is Where the Heart Was

Raindrops drift down the long hallway
The shutters shake, afraid of the silent sounds
The carpet sits apart from all, a lonely island broken
The stairs creak from forgotten feet, that run up and down
Ghosts draw dust along the bookcases and empty vases.
This house holds happiness inside, a photograph half developed
But lost with all the other important things
Lost, but waiting hopefully to be filled once again.

– Tegan Thuss 

September 28 – Just So

The weariness drips off her skin
The silence edges closer in
She’s so tired
So tired

The sadness peels her away
She’s grasping at pieces she wish would stay
She’s so tired
So tired

The heartache keeps piercing hope
If only faith could build a wall to cope
She’s so tired
So tired

She’s got nothing left to give
The only thing she can think is just live
She’s so tired
So tired

– Tegan Thuss

August 10 – Loneliness

She feels incomplete
Like maybe she’s not worthy of being whole
She prays every day to fill her heart
But it seems so empty, so unfulfilled
She tries to move without feeling
Without the torment of knowing she is damaged
She smiles so fake, so terribly wrong
But everyone just smiles back all candy coated
Like she could eat them up and take their happiness
If only she knew how to open her mouth without crying
She is trapped in her own sadness
Leaking down her sides, her eyes, the walls of her being
If only that pinprick light wasn’t so far way, so out of reach
She could grab a hold, taste the sunlight she is blind to
She touches her hollow body with tenderness
One day maybe she will know what it means to love

– Tegan Thuss