March 22 – Night’s Beckoning Darkness

When I can’t sleep I feel the chill touch of fear caressing my burning brow. I hear the sounds of movement and darkness, when nothing is there. The silence suffocates, the window leaves enough light to trace the evil lurking in shadow. I wrap myself in comfort that I cannot feel, and turn to warmth that emanates from the other side of the bed. Breathing stills as my hand touches heartbeat and my rhythm slows to match his. I am calm again, the night is quiet, the world is sleeping, and my eyes are drifting shut.

– Tegan Thuss

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March 3 – Lost Inside the Wilted Brick

One turn down the old round house
She shouts inside
We are immortal          we are immortal

If only we knew how to live

Dust flies out to cover eyes
Blinking turns them into rain

She’s burning with a false sense of hope
I know your name       I know your name

If only you could say it without breaking

Twisted rope lies falling up
Boats wave on rocks, clear glass skies

She can hear the ocean in the palm of her hand
I could be free             I could be free

Just maybe, with the right momentum

We weren’t all of us awful before the moon lit up
When the house grew wild
And the mushrooms dripped with dew and mould
We weren’t all of us bad before the sky grew dark
When the lights went out
And the gentle whir of electric rhythm vanished
We weren’t all of us destined for nothing

One turn round the old barn door
She shouts so quiet
We are immortal         we are immortal

If only we weren’t dying to live

– Tegan Thuss

February 16 – Glass Fragments to Reflect our Eyes

If you rip these scars open
I know you are the only one who can heal them again
With your soft smile and your gentle touch
And even though you pierce my soul
You love that you can see me better through the cracks you’ve made

I’m not so naïve to believe you love me if you don’t
But in those moments when your eyes melt my skin
I can see that you want to be the one to hold me up
To take the broken shards of my glass heart
To glue it back together, even though my sharpness tends to cut you

We once fit together, but we fell off that ledge and shattered
Now we’re imperfect bits, sharp edges, and we’ve lost some parts
But somehow it makes us better, makes us more whole
When we can look at all we’ve lost and still know the holes will shine
Even when we think the darkness is too deep

– Tegan Thuss

December 28 – Haunted by Shadows

We are shadows of the living
Crawling up from the past
Clawing at your senses
As you pass us by

You think we are figments
Gone in the blink of an eye
But we rise again
Haunting you

The dead can chill the heart
Twist and turn the dagger deep
If you let us rest a minute
In the house while you sleep

We are darkness in the light
Creeping in the corner
You turn and we are gone
But we can never really leave

We weep because we linger
There is no way to go
So we stay close to the living
To remember who we’ve been

– Tegan Thuss 

December 13 – You Always Were Disappearing

I can hear you singing
Like the ghost I always knew you would be
Quiet and alone
Soft voice rising
Dark corners colliding

I can hear you shifting
Like the ghost I always knew you could be
Distant and cold
Body fading
Shadows overriding

I can hear you crying
Like the ghost I always knew you should be
Reaching for a hand
That will never hold
Waiting, hiding

– Tegan Thuss 

October 12 – In Love and Purgatory

We are two halves of a haunted whole

Our ghost hands fading together
Disappearing faces staring at each other
Hearts not beating, breaths not mingling
Just cold clasped darkness, and shadow smiles

I trace your skin with my hollow eyes
Because my fingers would only push through air
But it warms me just a little to touch with sight
And smell with memory, feel with soul

Darkness burns where light has left

We are yearning for the emptiness of black
The deserted midnight hour, where we can exist
Both real and unreal, we have died for love
And love will build us an eternity without heaven or hell

The dark consumes our sighs, our cries, our laughter
We can stay like this, not alive, but at least bound as one
The only trace we leave is a cold chill, a fog on the window
A sadness in the breeze that follows close on our non-existent heels

– Tegan Thuss

October 5 – Dark Waves

Darkness stretches out its hand
And blankets the world
Until the only light shining
Is the pool at the base of a lamp post
Where she stands and waits
For something she thinks will save her
Something she knows will change her
And something she dreams will cure her

Darkness laps at her feet
And the light ebbs a little further in
She feels like a pebble in an ocean
But the waters drying up
And she’s floating toward land
But land is haunted with a past
That she cannot swim far enough away from
One she can only extinguish with fire and sun

Darkness creeps towards her thighs
Pressing into her tender skin
It feels like hands digging into naked flesh
She edges back toward the light
If only she could hold on to the lamp post
If only she could take the bulb and put it in her chest
Light up the hole where her heart used to live
Shine through her soul, instead of lying over her head

Darkness slinks down her spine
Where she swears her wings broke off
Where she thinks her halo may have fallen too
Without the wire to hang it on anymore
She thinks if she were still beautiful
That the halo would have stayed
But sin scars and bruises, and tears chunks
Sin is unforgiving and leaves her ugly

Darkness squirms over her shoulders
The lamp post sizzles, fades
She is scared, but she knows this place
It’s all she’s ever had, this black abyss
The light in her eyes burns once
Then shatters like glass
She’s all alone and no one hears
When she cries and is swallowed hole

Darkness licks its hungry lips
One life never enough to satisfy

– Tegan Thuss

September 24 – Daydream Life

She’s happiest just waiting out the storm
If she lets it wash over her she’ll drown
She doesn’t have a boat to paddle
And her legs just don’t seem to know how to kick
Or her head to stay afloat

Better to watch from a distance as the world explodes
She doesn’t have a shield for all the bits that are gonna fall
And she’s afraid of the colours that seem to be bursting to life
Her arms can’t reach that high
Or her eyes can’t dream that tall

She’s safest looking out of her bubble
But never letting it pop
Because the world is full of pins and pricks
And all the cushion of the rest might be nice
But it doesn’t sooth the cuts, the wounds

She feels best when she’s asleep
When she can imagine worlds beyond her door
When she can feel all those things she’s missing
Without the fear of being crushed
Without the fear of being alive

– Tegan Thuss

September 12 – Illuminate

Street lights flash
Flare out to grab the shadows
Where human contact hides
Afraid to be found
And torn asunder in this
Unforgiving city

The moon looks down
On a pair of silent smiles
Trying to find a meaning
In a world that has shown them
Only pain and hurt in this
Unabashed city

Florescent light cascades
Off towering walls and through
Clear sky windows
As though the world could change
From night to day with a switch in this
Forsaken city

Neon signs capture moments
As they fizzle and electrify
The night, like stars across
Black concrete streets
The glare growing as we fall towards the
Unbearable city

Sunshine slowly rises but
It’s gloomy and faded
Like the faces and lives that turn
That move and grow and change
Never really shining the brightest they can in this
Soulless city

– Tegan Thuss